Yesterday, I officiated the wedding of my friends Krista Pearson (now, Bruckner) and Joseph (still Bruckner). It was a wonderful day, without a cloud in the sky and the ocean unfolding behind us over the bay on Whidbey Island in Washington.
I've spent months writing and re-writing portions of the ceremony. I've spent hours fretting over whether or not one paragraph or two will be appropriate. I've spent sleepless nights wondering why on earth they chose me, but knowing that I felt totally excited by the opportunity. Basically, I've been a little crazy.
When I landed in Seattle, I was a little overwhelmed. I'd been in Denver for a little over 24 hours (in which I interviewed for a job) and my flights had been red eyes and pre-dawn take-offs. I hopped in the car with two sisters I'd never met before and we started our two hour (ish) drive to Whidbey. We all chatted and tried to get to know one another and I felt suddenly unprepared. I had spent so much time meditating on marriage and love and being alone with my thoughts that I'd forgotten that I might need to actually talk to people once I arrived. And, for my first night I'd be staying in a house full of bridesmaids and the family of the bride. I took a deep breath, texted my boyfriend that I was afraid I wasn't cut out for this, and sucked it up. I asked myself for more than I thought I could give because it wasn't really about me. It didn't matter that I've been much more reclusive and introverted as of late. I had a job here: I was going to make this ceremony amazing. And, in the process, I was going to put worried fathers' hearts at ease, help busy mothers finish details, listen to stories from some of the most lovely grandparents I'd ever met, and get to know the bridesmaids and groomsmen. In other words, I needed to lock it up.
I'm so glad I did. This celebration was a joy to take part in. I made friends I hadn't expected to, heard the story of Krista's birth (thanks to Martin), and was able to share my own thoughts and hopes about love with a whole audience who'd gathered to celebrate Krista and Joseph. What a privilege.
There's not a whole lot left to say, but I figured I'd share my main reflection from the ceremony.
I've spent months writing and re-writing portions of the ceremony. I've spent hours fretting over whether or not one paragraph or two will be appropriate. I've spent sleepless nights wondering why on earth they chose me, but knowing that I felt totally excited by the opportunity. Basically, I've been a little crazy.
When I landed in Seattle, I was a little overwhelmed. I'd been in Denver for a little over 24 hours (in which I interviewed for a job) and my flights had been red eyes and pre-dawn take-offs. I hopped in the car with two sisters I'd never met before and we started our two hour (ish) drive to Whidbey. We all chatted and tried to get to know one another and I felt suddenly unprepared. I had spent so much time meditating on marriage and love and being alone with my thoughts that I'd forgotten that I might need to actually talk to people once I arrived. And, for my first night I'd be staying in a house full of bridesmaids and the family of the bride. I took a deep breath, texted my boyfriend that I was afraid I wasn't cut out for this, and sucked it up. I asked myself for more than I thought I could give because it wasn't really about me. It didn't matter that I've been much more reclusive and introverted as of late. I had a job here: I was going to make this ceremony amazing. And, in the process, I was going to put worried fathers' hearts at ease, help busy mothers finish details, listen to stories from some of the most lovely grandparents I'd ever met, and get to know the bridesmaids and groomsmen. In other words, I needed to lock it up.
I'm so glad I did. This celebration was a joy to take part in. I made friends I hadn't expected to, heard the story of Krista's birth (thanks to Martin), and was able to share my own thoughts and hopes about love with a whole audience who'd gathered to celebrate Krista and Joseph. What a privilege.
There's not a whole lot left to say, but I figured I'd share my main reflection from the ceremony.
The Heart's Vocation: A Sacred Union
by Sierra E. Fleenor, Wedding Officiant
August 5, 2012
I am awed by the
commitment Krista and Joseph are embarking upon today. It has brought a hush
over my heart and given me pause. My hope is that you will take a moment to
join in this pause with me. And, since they’ve decided to entrust their
ceremony to me, I guess you have to.
Marriage is often remarked upon as a
sacred union. For some of us, the term sacred is marked by the divine presence
of God. For others, it is a term used to denote an object, or this union, as
something not to be taken lightly. Either way, it seems appropriate to reflect
on sacredness.
Sacred, in one sense, means “set
apart.” Something that is out of the ordinary in some way, but not necessarily
by its nature. Rather by its treatment. It is not the thing itself that makes
it sacred, but the recognition of it as set apart. We are responsible, thus,
for demarcating the sacred in our own lives.
Marriage, as many people who live it
daily will tell you, is mundane. It is even pedestrian. And, I think in some
rights it has to be. People who choose to be married (or fight for the option)
have thrown their lot in with another person. And, sometimes, life is boring.
It's not all romantic comedies or dramatic inquiries once you get inside a
marriage. Sometimes it is simple. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes it just is.
If that’s the case, then how is
marriage sacred? Why should we view this daily task as something special? Why
even have this service? Why don't Krista and Joseph just high five each other
and call it a day?
Because marriage is a vocation. And,
what is more sacred than one’s vocation? A vocation is not a job. It is not an
occupation. It is a calling. Something you are compelled toward the same way a
bee knows how to return to its hive: it’s instinctual. And, if we take
seriously the words of Thomas Aquinas, read to us by Derek, we see that this
same drive, this basic magnetic pull holds Krista and Joseph together in their
cause, as they look to one another and say:
My soul has a purpose, it is
to love;
if I
do not fulfill
my heart’s vocation,
I suffer.
I am awed today because I should be.
The sacred should always awe us, render us silent, give us pause. And, later,
it should bring us triumphant joy and dancing.
What a glorious thing to be in the
presence of love. What a glorious thing to be in the presence of so many loves
unfolding and opening to the hearts of Krista and Joseph. It is a beauty to
behold. If you stop for a moment, you can almost feel the sacredness of this
moment and this bond wrapping around each of us, encompassing all of us for
this moment in time. Here we are, each made holy in our participation in this
sacred act of marriage.
